Boys Over Unicorns
by tooblondforu
Summary: Agnes wants to date, how will Gru respond to his little kitten wanting boys over unicorns


**A/N. My best friend ****DP-shrine-in-closet-girl helped me with Grus accent, this goes along with her DM fic so some of the inside jokes might go over your head if you do not read it, which you should cause she's awesome…anyways Gru and Agnes!**

Agnes took a deep breath and was about to walk into the living room to talk to her dad but suddenly turned around instead and faced her sisters. "I can't do this guys!"

"Yes you can Agnes!" Edith assured her, "we both did it! And more than once."

"Exactly, I mean, he won't be happy at first, but just give him the facts—" "And do the little kitten eyes, you know he can't resist those." Edith interrupted.

"Right, right," Agnes nodded her head but then stopped, "what were the facts again?" she squeaked.

Margo sighed, "Agnes you are sixteen! I started to date at sixteen and Edith at fifteen and he let us."

"Well sorta," Edith amended.

"Plus, you're the baby! Dad can't resist you anything!" Margo added, albeit bitterly.

"Exactly, I'm the baby! He won't even let me learn to drive and both of you can!"

"Well that's different, you can barely ride a bike without crashing." Edith rolled her eyes.

"That's not the point!" Agnes protested.

"Exactly, the point is you want to date Ben and you can't do it behind Dad's back because of the minions," Margo explained.

Edith smirked and nudged her older sister. "Yeah, you would know all about that, huh Margo?"

Margo crossed her arms, blushing slightly. "How was I supposed to know Dad would send the minions to spy on me?"

Edith snickered. "You were the one dating behind Dad's back. You should know better than to do that," Edith paused, and then smirked mischievously, "…without thinking up a decent lie first, that is. And now Agnes and me have to deal with the minions at school!"

"Alright! I get it okay, sorry! But this isn't about me. This is about Agnes and Ben."

"Well," Edith continued, "it's not like Dad didn't see this coming. And Agnes, you like Ben, don't you?"

"Of course I do—"

"Then go out there and tell dad that you're a big girl now and you want to date!" Edith said pushing her sister into the living room.

"Daddy?" Agnes said a few octaves higher than her usual voice as she walked up to her father hesitantly.

"Yes keeten?" Gru asked smiling warmly at his youngest daughter.

Agnes gave him her best "little kitten" eyes before telling him her news. "Daddy you know I love you"

"Of course Keeten, and I yoo." Gru said confusedly.

"Now Daddy if you remember I am sixteen years old—"

"Of course I remembor," he said moodily he didn't like to be reminded that his youngest was a teenager, and almost a grown woman at that.

"Yes, and if you also remember, Margo got her first boyfriend at sixteen, and Edith at fifteen."

"Why eez eet yoo are bringeeng dis up?" He asked grumpily. He definitely hated thinking about boys being around _his_ leetle keetens!

"Well Daddy, you see, I met this boy—"

"No!" Gru yelled, shaking a finger at Agnes, "absolutely no boys!"

Agnes blinked in shock, her father had only yelled at her once in her life. "But Daddy—"

"No, I stand firm on dis, not even de leettle keeten eyes weell help yoo dis time, Agnes. I weell not allow dis!"

"Daddy," Agnes said giving him the saddest kitten eyes she could muster, "please Daddy, for me? Don't you love me Daddy? Don't you want me to be happy?"

"Of course I want yoo teh be happy, Agnes. Oh, I 'ave an idea, how 'bout dis? I get yoo a unicorn, yeah? And den we forget dis whole boy t'ing ever happened. Yes, yes I like dis idea." Gru smiled at his ingenious plan.

"No Daddy," Agnes shook her head her voice firm, "I'm no longer the five year old girl that could be fooled into thinking that a zebra with a paper mâché horn is a unicorn."

"But Agnes, yoo are too young!" Gru argued, chafing under his daughter's scrutinizing glare.

"I already said by my age both Margo and Edith were dating Daddy."

"But dat eez differeent."

"How?"

"Yoo are too young, too naïve. Edith eez tough and would never 'ave a boy take advantage of hor, and Margo eez too smart to let a boy do anything she didn't want him to!"

"So now I'm weak and stupid, Daddy?" Agnes asked biting her cheeks to allow tears to come to her eyes.

"No! No leettle keeten, of course not, of course not! Do not cry!" If Gru had a kryptonite it was one of his girls crying. This was exactly why Agnes could not date, boy only lead to tears. Edith never cried, and Margo never got too emotionally attached to any guy to cry, but his Agnes would give her whole heart only to have some miserable boy break it. Then he would have to hunt him down, torture him, and kill him, and really, with his busy schedule when did he have time for that?

"Daddy, I can't stay single forever."

"Of course yoo can! You can stay weeth me forever." Gru argued.

"Daddy," Agnes smiled, "you'll always be my number one guy, but you can't keep me to yourself."

"Why not?" Gru pouted.

Agnes laughed, "Because Daddy I have to grow up, and fall in love, and get married, and have kids someday for you to spoil."

"Will I really always be numbor one?"

"Always Daddy," Agnes said kissing his cheek. Gru smiled and she knew she had him.

"Well...I guess…joost dis once…but only if I can torture—"

"No."

"Oh alright," Gru pouted again, "I never get teh 'ave any fun."

"Okay, you can have your freeze ray gun and laser on you when you meet him," Gru smiled, "if you promise not to use them on him directly."

Gru's pout deepened, "what eez de point of being a super vyllain eef yoo can't frighten and torture your daughters boyfriends?"

"Pinky promise Daddy?" Agnes asked holding out her pinky. Gru hesitated, "for me Daddy, please." she gave him her sad kitten eyes once more.

Gru sighed, "Alright, alright, I promise weeth my pinky."

Agnes threw her arms around her dad, "I love you, Daddy." She whispered.

"I love yoo too keetten."


End file.
